New Year, New Look, New Home

“Adventures of Sadie, Married Lady” will soon have a new home. I’m kind of bored with WordPress’ lack of cute and fun themes and decided to head back to Blogger. You’ll be able to access the archives at AoSML but I won’t be posting anything new there (ha! I know you’re scoffing at me just now because I never post anything new.) So starting soon, you can follow me at “Splendid Sassy Pants” or http://splendidsassypants.blogspot.com/. See you soon!

Resolve to be Frugal

Could you live on less than $1000 per month? Without some serious life changes, it would be impossible for us to live on that small of an income. Our mortgage alone tops that by $300. But that being said, would you even want to and if so, how would you do it?

I’ve been lurking at a blog called “Under $1000 Per Month” where Emily, a wife and mother of three, writes about how she manages her home on a budget of $980 per month. This number includes rent ($600), phone ($6.09 on a reduced rate for low income families), Internet service ($19.99), auto insurance ($31.22), electricity ($27.00), and satellite radio ($12.95). This total comes to $697.25, leaving “$282.75 for food, gas, any auto repairs, birthdays and holidays, unforeseen needs, and investments.” I’ve been watching her make this budget work for a few months now, with some important expenses such as health insurance covered by the government (because of their low income, this family of five does qualify for assistance. I do have opinions on this issue but that’s best saved for another post), she’s doing a fairly impressive job.

In all honesty, this is not how I want to live. Frugality or low income living isn’t something I’m willing to undertake at the expense (pun intended) of my quality of living. I would not risk not having health insurance or a substantial emergency fund and retirement accounts, which are all things that are tenuous for this family. But on the other hand, there is a good point that Emily makes with her blog: why do we need so much “stuff” to live and how does accumulating material wealth contribute to our over-all quality of life?

The short answers are really a) we don’t and b) it doesn’t. I’m challenged by her writing and suggestions she has for practical, low-cost living. Since moving to one income and becoming a stay-at-home-mom, I fully expected for our financial health to suffer. It really hasn’t (which is as much a combination of effective and efficient money management as well as overall income.) But I could be more frugal. Simple things like eating out less, waiting for sales or using coupons to buy things, saving up to purchase a large item instead of using credit (an example but not something we do), and generally being happy with what I have and examining my motives for purchasing something simple because I can and I want it Right. This. Minute.

With the new year right around the corner, I think Andrew and I have already gotten a jump on this resolution: to view money as a tool and not a remedy for what’s missing in our lives (which really is time, not stuff.)

What comes in threes?

Have you ever heard the saying “Good news comes in threes”? How about “Sneezes in threes means good luck” (ok, I don’t think that’s a widely known saying. It probably isn’t any kind of saying at all. Maybe it’s just something a waitress at one of my favorite local Chinese take-out places told me. I think she was trying to make me feel better since I obviously wasn’t.)

I’ve also heard “Deaths come in threes.” In recent weeks, someone I knew and cared for very much passed away, and just recently I found out that two beautiful, spiritual, loving people are gravely ill and the prognosis is not looking good.

I’m having a hard time with all this news. I’m working hard not to just fall on my knees and weep (I already did that in the car a few days ago and I blame Barbra Streisand’s soulful and heart-stirring singing for that snotty mess. *fist-shake to Babs*)

Walter Cohen (1920 – 2009) — Over Thanksgiving, my community lost Walter, a wonderful man. He was 88 and had been ill for some time. A few years back, he suffered a fall and a head injury. His age made recovery difficult and he never quite made it back to his old self. Because of his injury, he was forced to give up his beloved role has Super-Mega Greeter and Everyone’s Favorite Person at our synagogue. You couldn’t attend a service or an event without shaking hands with or hugging Walter. Walter led such a life! It’s really too much to type here, so if you’re so inclined, you can read about it here. What that article doesn’t convey is how much his life impacted mine. He was the catalyst that helped my family discover who we are, our Jewish heritage, and really helped to lead my parents home. They had searched for so long, and God brought them to Walter. Brought all of us to Him through him, really. I loved him so much but was unable to attend his funeral and burial. Not for any scheduling conflict but rather I just couldn’t be in that space with the hundreds of people. I’m a solitary mourner. Always have been, and I guess telling you about him is how I cope.

Jean Sorrels (1951 – 2009) — [Just before writing this post, I looked up Jean through Google hoping to have the correct spelling of her name and made the discover that she passed away on Saturday, Dec. 12. I had not expected her to be gone so soon.] When I was in college I worked part time as the assistant to the Children’s Ministry Director for a short time. It was a great job! Each of the pastors had a part time secretary and we all worked together to run that ship. Jean was the secretary to the Music Minister and she was a delight to be with. When I started working at the church, I didn’t know that I already knew Jean. She was actually our neighbor and I had played in the high school orchestra with her daughter (well, I think my sister played more with Mary than I did.) She was a former missionary in the Ukraine and Kenya. I loved to listen to her stories of being overseas and the culture she adopted as her own. Jean talked about the language and food of the Ukraine and the people and music of Kenya. She introduced me to biryani and to balalaika. I left the church after two years, graduated college, and moved jobs. The church went through its own changes and Jean left not long after I did. She had become a grandmother for the 4th time (Mary had a daughter) and enjoyed being with her husband and children. I’m saddened by her death and unlike Walter’s, I’m more afraid than I am sad. As a mother, I worry that I will die before my son truly knows who I am, or worse, before I truly know him. I think about the sense of abandonment he might feel and worry that he may not ever know that I loved (love) him with all that is in me. I hurt for Jean’s daughters knowing how close they were to their mother and I sense their loss as if it were my own. Jean is home now and God is weeping with His children still here.

I’m hoping that I make it through 2009 without completing this list of Three. I lost two special people who touched my life. I’m good for now.